When to seek assistance for a child's emotional problems

When your child has a fever or has fallen from a tree you know what to do.  You seek medical advice.  When a child shows unusual or odd behaviors, many times a parent will rationalize, "It's just a phase".  Too often children's mental health issues are over looked or set aside with the belief , "This too shall pass".  Sometimes it does pass and the problem is resolved for the child.  Sometimes, however, it is not resolved and the problem worsens.  It has been my experience parents will bring their children for treatment when their behavior begins to affect school performance, when there is custody or divorce litigation, or when behavior becomes disruptive for the family.   Often times it is the disruptive behavior that gets the attention.  The more passive or quiet behavior gets over looked.  The erroneous belief is that if a child comes to therapy it indicates parental failure.  In fact, bringing a child to therapy indicates a parent is in tune with their child and is able to identify when their child is struggling.   

 So what tells us a child could benefit from therapy?  Some of the behaviors to look for seem common place.  Indeed at times a child can be traumatized by events within the parents control.  Many times a child experiences difficulty with situations not within the parent's control.  Also, therapy can begin to help a  child deal with medical procedures or to enhance their self esteem.  In any case, initiating therapy for children demonstrates love and concern for children. 

Excessive sadness, anger, worry or fear

Regressive behavior- a return to a behavioral task that was previously met (i.e. thumb sucking or toilet training).

School difficulties- academic failure or behavioral problems

Inability to make or keep friends.

Low self esteem.

Extreme shyness or reluctance to participate with others

Physical symptoms without a medical cause (i.e. stomach aches or head aches).

Sexual acting out or preoccupation with sexual behavior.

Difficulty adjusting to family transitions.

Depressive symptoms such as changes in sleep patterns( stop sleeping or not feeling rested) appetite disturbances ( food does not have any flavor to them) loss if interest in grooming, loss of concentration, cutting back on contact with friends or extracurricular activities.

Preoccupied with death or talking about wanting to die

Violence to animals or bullying behavior

demonstrates manipulative behavior

attention seeking

irresponsible

plays cruel jokes

Has trouble handling criticism, frustration, disappointments or failure

Has talked about gaining revenge on another or sees a grim future for himself or herself

Thrill seeking, dangerous behavior, self mutilation or fire setting

Poetry and writing has themes of death, destruction, or violence

Makes subtle or blatant threats to harm certain school personnel

 Divorce or separation of parents

Natural disasters, fire, hurricane, floods

Hospitalization, chronic illness, painful/ frightening medical procedures

 Birth trauma- premature birth, complicated medical procedures after birth

Adoption of an older child

Illness or injury to a family member

Death of a close family member or friend

Physical, emotional or sexual abuse

Witnessing domestic violence or murder

Witnessing the abuse of other children

Being bullied or teased

Acts of terrorism