It’s a new day. The sun is out. You’ve had a great week at work. Nothing has really gone wrong this week. It should all be smooth sailing. But then it hits you; they’re gone. Time stands still as your mind reflects on this loss. Next thing you know, tears are streaming down your face. You can’t help it. You miss them so much. Grief is the price we pay for love, of loving someone so deeply that their presence no longer being around you has marred your life. You don’t feel like the person you once were. How could you be, with them being gone?
In an instant, you can go from happy to feeling completely lost. Grief has an awful way of sneaking up on you in the tiniest moments. It’s the song playing on the radio. The smell of cologne or perfume you catch the scent of. A memory that you shared together. It’s everything that may not have mattered in the past, but now hits you completely different.
Dealing with grief is something that everyone will have to endure at some point in their life. And it’s hard. There’s so much wrapped up in our emotions surrounding death and loss. And those seven stages of grief? Well, they aren’t exactly linear, so you can feel even more emotional going through them. These stages are meant to inform you of what is happening in your mind, not as a guide that needs to be followed exactly.
So, how can you cope with grief and loss? It’s different for every person, but generally speaking, here are three main ways you can deal with grief.
How To Deal With Grief
Let Yourself Feel
At times, humans have the tendency to try and ignore their emotions. If they don’t think about something or let themselves heal, it won’t bother them, right? Well, actually, no. You see, when we ignore or try to push away anything we are feeling or hurt by, it can actually worsen our moods and can impact the healing process.
If you are grieving, let yourself grieve for the person you lost. For the memories that you now cherish with everything in you. For the person that you were and became because of their presence in your life. It’s okay to be sad. No one has the right or ability to tell you how this process should go for you. If it’s been a two months or two years, don’t force yourself to ignore it for the sake of being on someone’s timeline. If they think you should be “over it,” by now, that’s their opinion, not the fact of your life.
Create A Memorial Of Sorts For Them
Creating even just the smallest of areas to remember your loved one by can be therapeutic, and it doesn’t have to be extensive or huge. The impact they had on you is tremendous, and it’s okay to want to memorialize them after they are gone. Even if it is just a small area with their photo and a small gift they gave you. It may make you feel emotional at times, but in times of need, you’ll be able to draw strength from them by viewing this little memorial.
Don’t Be Afraid To Seek Support
Everybody grieves differently. And that’s ok. It’s ok for someone to feel as if their life is back to normal and they can move past their grief after two months. It’s ok for someone else to still be struggling with a loss years later. There is no right way to grieve. It is a process that looks tremendously different for every person.
If you are still struggling to cope, grief counseling can help you learn ways to cope in the way that is best for you. We are here for you when you are ready for us.