To the general public, couples counseling is what you might do when problems arise. In reality, it is a form of preventative care. For physical health, we often take steps like self-care and regular check-ups. Why do we not assign the same mindset to our relationship health?
On the surface, premarital counseling may appear like a dangerous way to rock the wedding boat. But consider this: Couples who commit to premarital counseling have a 30 percent lower chance of ending up divorced. Once again, this is preventative care. It is a smart move to set yourself up for relationship success.
Improved Communication Skills
Perhaps the most important skill to be learned in premarital counseling is healthy communication. In the presence of an unbiased professional, it is so much easier to practice such skills. You can even use your sessions as a workshop of sorts.
A major component of relationship communication is conflict resolution. Disagreements are inevitable. However, they do not have to lead to destructive fights or personal attacks. Premarital counseling teaches a couple to not avoid arguments but to embrace them in a healthy way as a chance to grow and learn together.
5 More Reasons Premarital Counseling is Worth Rocking the Wedding Boat
1. Nipping Problems in the Bud
Problems that seem minor now can escalate over time. Something that appears unworthy of counseling can eventually become the cause of divorce or separation. Premarital counseling offers you the opportunity to address concerns before they can grow into problems. This will strengthen your foundation.
2. Setting Future Goals Together
Pop culture does a poor job of preparing us for marriage. We believe in happily ever after. But who warns us about all the work it requires? During premarital couples therapy, you learn how to form more realistic perspectives. You come to accept that people change over time. Therefore, both of you must communicate and prepare. Part of that is setting goals and working toward them as a couple.
3. Talking About Money
Each individual person has his or her own relationship with money. When you become a couple, compromise is non-negotiable. Finance-related conflicts have doomed many a relationship. Don’t wait until the disagreements start. Talk openly about them beforehand with the help of a skilled guide.
4. Learning More About Each Other
As they say, “the more you know.” You may be inseparable but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing more to learn about each other. An experienced counselor will create a safe space where difficult questions can be asked — and answered. Think of all the areas that need to be explored:
Childhood and attachment style
Financial perceptions
Sexual compatibility
Previous relationships
Extended family
You may not even know that there are things you don’t know about your partner. That’s part of what premarital counseling is for.
5. Talking Openly About Intimacy
In the early days, there may be no shortage of lust and passion. Yet, there is so much more to consider when it comes to creating a healthy intimate life. This can be a touchy topic. You may feel it’s unnecessary to bring up if you currently can’t keep your hands off each other. Talk about long-term intimacy openly and with some professional support.
Setting Sail with Healthy Expectations
Two people enter into a relationship with a desire to connect and commit. These two people have distinct personalities, beliefs, values, habits, and patterns. Often through no fault of their own, they will find themselves in conflict. Premarital counseling gives that couple a head start. It prepares partners for the realities of marriage. Rather than rock the boat, it can increase your chances of smooth sailing.